Submission the choice.

As most of you know at this point I’ve been in a Top/brat relationship for about two months now with a very special person. The journey has seen really high highs and really low lows. I don’t trust easily and I’ve made many mistakes along the way, but I have learned more about myself than I ever thought possible. Toppy lady and I just kind of fell into these roles we are in, it happened natural really, at first at least. However, the one huge thing I’ve had to learn is what submission really is, what it takes to be submissive and what it feels like when you get there. I don’t have all of this figured out of course, but  I’m beginning to learn what my journey looks like.

Submission is a choice. It’s a choice I have to make daily and sometimes even more than one time a day. It’s not a feeling and it doesn’t actually just happen, for me at least. I always thought that submission would be this feeling you would have, but it’s not. Submission is the choice to allow someone else control part or all of your life. And let me tell you it can scare the hell out of you. Like I said earlier I don’t trust people naturally, it just doesn’t happen that way. But then to have someone that is worthy of that trust enough to choose what is best for you in several aspects of your life that is a learning experience. There were times and I guess still are times when I fight it every step of the way. Thankfully, I have a Top who is extremely patient and stubborn that will stick with me no matter what I do. So, I have had to make the conscious effort to chose this everyday ever since I realized this and it has made life less complicated and our relationship more fulfilling in many ways.

When I choose to submit to Karen (name changed to protect the not so innocent 😉 ) I instantly become more stable. A lot of times in my RL I feel like I’m free falling into a wide open abyss and that I’m out in the world vulnerable, alone and scared. I also felt like I was wandering around a bit. When I submit she will protect me from everything including myself. I no longer have the worries of the world. I find comfort here in the land of trust and dependence on another human if it is only for a few short minuets a day.

Here is the big thing though. Submission isn’t a requirement of our relationship. It isn’t even a demand or expectation really. It is a gift that I freely choose to give to her. Yes, that maybe hard to understand, but through the time we have spent together and her continued proving to me she isn’t going anywhere it is a desire that has grown inside of me. I want to give her that gift, because I do trust her with my life.

I won’t tell you that is has gotten easier though. If anything it has gotten harder. I went into the relationship thinking that being a brat/bottom to someone would come naturally for me. However, it actually doesn’t. In fact I like control things quiet a bit, which might explain my Switch tendencies, but that is a whole other post. But, what I have found here when I can submit is peace. It’s like the person at the core of who I am is alive and well and so very loved and cared for.

 

Until next time, LT

I’ll Be

So, this song has been on my mind recently and inspired a lot of things I have been writing that I will eventually get around to sharing with you all. So, if you all don’t mind give it a listen or just read it through. Then if you have a song that has been speaking to your heart of late please feel free to share. And make sure to check out the story I posted earlier today.

 

Anyway, this is for someone special. . . you know who you are. 

 

I’ll Be – Reba

 

When darkness falls upon your heart and soul.

I’ll be the light that shines for you.

When you forget how beautiful you are

I’ll be there to remind you.

When you can’t find your way,

I’ll find my way to you.

When troubles come around,

I will come to you.

 

I’ll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.

Be your shelter.

When you need someone to see you through.

I’ll be there to carry you.

I’ll be there.

 

I’ll be the rock that will be strong for you.

The one that will hold on to you.

When you feel that rain falling down.

When there’s nobody else around.

I’ll be.

 

And when you’re there with no one there to hold.

I’ll be the arms that reach for you.

And when you feel your faith is running low.

I’ll be there to believe in you.

When all you find are lies.

I’ll be the truth you need.

When you need someone to run to.

You can run to me

 

I’ll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.

Be your shelter.

When you need someone to see you through.

I’ll be there to carry you.

I’ll be there.

I’ll be the rock that will be strong for you.

The one that will hold on to you.

When you feel that rain falling down.

When there’s nobody else around.

I’ll be.

I’ll be the sun.

 

When your heart’s filled with rain.

I’ll be the one.

To chase the rain away.

 

I’ll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.

Be your shelter.

When you need someone to see you through.

I’ll be there to carry you.

I’ll be there.

I’ll be the rock that will be strong for you.

The one that will hold on to you.

When you feel that rain falling down.

When there’s nobody else around.

I’ll be.

I’ll be.

 

 

I’ll Be lyrics © Alfred

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Q9S3cT18Fs

 

Hiya guys and gals, I haven’t forgotten about you all! I am still promising some stories very soon! Still working on editing my story so my time and energy is going into that. However, I just found this little gem and thought I’d share it with you all. Feel free to tell me of any naughtiness you have found yourselves in of late 😉

 

Update

Hi Peoples,

I hope to have some stories and possibly some diary entries done in the next few days. When I get a chance I’ll post 4 or 5 probably. I have been busy trying to get a story together for the anthology.

Have A Happy Spanking Today,

 

Logan

Question

Hi everyone,

So I needed to get some thoughts out there today. I have obviously only recently made the decision to delurk in TTWD world. Honestly, I was reading stories and following blogs about it well before I should have so I have been lurking for close to 7 years now. In saying all this I recently, also, kind of delurked in my real life as someone who writes and is interested in spanking.

I called my best friend one day and I simply told her and she was supportive and amazing (love you so much). She read some of my stories and also part of the kinklet that is going on Anna Reilly’s blog, which everyone needs to go read, and she asked me, “After, reading this don’t you want to find these people and do this kind of stuff with them?”

I don’t remember what I told her at the time, because admittedly I was buzzed when we where talking about it. However, I have been thinking a lot about this question and decided to answer it here. So, here is the long and complicated answer to the question above.

Honestly, most simply, the answer is YES. Absolutely yes. However, that is a much to simple answer. This world online is much different than real life. In real life we don’t get to pick and choose which part of each other we see and experience, because we see it all. There is no forever twenty-five, perfect looks and body. There is no perfect Top/botttom out there. We all make mistakes daily and even in the scene, virtual or real we wish we didn’t. Perfection just doesn’t happen. We have bad habits and occasionally bad manners. We have arguements and lack of communication. In my experience sometimes we just don’t want to spank or be spanked. (Rarely, but it happens. Shocking I know 😉 )

There is also the fact that while everyone reading this are more than likely, spankos that means something different to every single person reading this. For some that might mean gentle spankings as foreplay only, but for others it may mean strict rules and harsh punishments 24/7 or even somewhere in the middle. Any of which is fine as long as it is safe and consensual, but this just means not anyone could do TTWD together.

There are few things in this world, in my experience, more vulnerable than being new at something, especially something like spanking. It is so much easier to be a person on the other side of computer screen knowing you will never meet them or actually interact with them. And knowing how difficult it is to delurk on the internet I can only imagine how difficult it is to do it with someone you have never met before. I will also say that there is a strange emotional side (to me) to writing stories like these or even being spanked or spanking virtually. Emotions are a huge part of this for me as with many others. It would take time to cultivate a relationship to allow someone to have access to this vunerable part of you, physically or emotionally.

Relationships can start over the internet, but it takes time to get to a place where you can have a relationship in RL. And when they do it can be a thing of beuty. 

So, in ending to the person who asked me this, yes, there are times like damn can’t we all go live on our own island somewhere and be happy, but then I know reality isn’t this, hearts get broke, people change, spankings can hurt hella lot and we might all want different things anyway. But there a few lucky souls out there that find forever here and what they have is amazing. 

Much care,

LT

Anna’s blog can be found at: http://www.spankingromance.wordpress.com

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Thoughts and comments are always welcome.

Welcome!

Welcome, to Logan’s World! Just a little place for my stories to come to life and my thoughts to (hopefully) find an audience. My focus is  f/f spanking stories and everything that goes along with it. Always feel free to communicate with me here I want to hear from you!  Hopefully, I will get my first story up tonight!

 

 

P.S.

Bear with me while I get this blog thing figured out!