I groaned loudly as Kerry tipped me into the air forcing my head closer to the ground. From experience, my sit spots and thighs would be the next target. I was right. The next insanely hard swat that landed was on my right sit spot. And the next one was too. She kept spanking the same spot over and over. I was sure if I could see my backside Kerry’s handprint would be tattooed onto the area for the next week!
“Ma’am stop. Please, ma’am! I don’t want a spanking!” I threw my hand back in a valent yet useless attempt to stop her. Without pause she took my hand in hers, interlacing out fingers together, “That’s not how you stop this. You know your word. That’s the only way I’m done.”
Just as she finished speaking she moved to the other sit spot and did the same thing. Swatting hard, building the pain to a level I wasn’t accustomed to when it came to her hand. All I could do was lay over her lap and accept it. My throat was dry from all the yelping I was doing. When she handed me a pillow to hold onto as I felt pools arise in my eyes.
With the pillow now close ma’am intensified her effort and moved to the only place exposed to her that wasn’t surely red and on fire. The back of my thighs. The first swat that landed felt like torture. The second wasn’t any better. She always used the same methodical technique on the very rare occasion she spanked my thighs. Down one leg and up the other. Each side would receive three flaming swats in this fashion. How long she did it was another matter. Sometimes she would only visit once or twice and others she would spend just as much time there as she did on my cheeks.
She seemed to be doing the later now, however, “Little bit, I love you more than you could know. I’m here for you always. Tonight could have gone a lot differently if you would have talked to me and been honest with me, instead you are getting a very hard spanking.”
I held onto the pillow as I felt my heart physically hurt. I knew she was right. But I also knew there was something inside of me that needed precisely what she was doing at the moment. I felt the first wave of tears stream down my face when Ma’am’s hand squeezed mine tightly. The tears weren’t the slow steady kind but instead were the loud, ugly, soul cleansing kind. I continued crying hard the entire time ma’am spanked. I thought about everything that had happened today and I felt horrible. More than horrible even. Ma’am cared too much about me. I wasn’t sure if I would ever understand why, but she did. Even when I cursed her out and told her to leave she cared enough to take care of my needs.
The thought of that made me cry harder as the swats were slowing down. She was one of the few people that cared enough to stay no matter what. I knew ma’am deserved to know the real reason today had been so horrible.
I felt when ma’am stopped her relentless punishment of the backs of my legs, through the tears, I tried talking to her, “Pl- please-..” I tried, however, was awash with another wave of desperate tears.
Ma’am understood what I was asking for. She pulled me up from over her lap and cuddled me close to her. I fell willingly and whole heartily into her arms and just cried as I hid against her chest.
I couldn’t tell you the amount of time I was there, crying, however, she never let me go. As my breathing slowed and evened out she whispered into my ear, “Little bit, you ready to tell me what was going on today?”
Without moving I nodded slowly, I was going to, however, I didn’t want to come out from my hiding place against her chest.
“You can stay right there little bit. I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.”
Ma’am rubbed soothing patterns on my back like a mother would a sick child as she patiently waited for me to talk to her. Taking a deep breath I told her, “I got my mid-term paper back. It was an ‘F.’ They… they are accusing me of cheating.”
I felt her arms tighten around me which made me relax into her even more. I felt protected in her embrace, “Ma’am they can kick me out. In the least, I will fail my class. I’ve got a disciplinary hearing in a week.”
“Lex, I know you would never do such a thing. We will gather all your research and even get logs for the research library. I even have a lawyer friend that will help us if we need it. I promise you, Lex, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure they don’t kick you out or fail you.”
I closed my eyes and rested against ma’am. I had refused to think about it all day. The spectacle of being asked to stay after class so the professor could speak to me. It was humiliating and painful. What was worse was being forced to stand there and not be able to defend myself. And to top it all off I was going to be called in front of a board of ten administrators to explain myself so they could decide if they should kick me out. I had wanted to crawl in a hole then. However, I had several classes left at this point and had to go to them. It hurt to think someone thought I cheated. I expected perfection from myself and tried so hard to keep an ‘A’ in all my classes. I just cried harder thinking about what it would do to my GPA if I did fail. I’d lose my scholarship and be forced to take out an extensive loan or worse.
Ma’am stopped petting my hair and asked suddenly, “Little bit, do you know why they think you cheated?”
I shook my head before hiding myself under her chin again. “I only know the professor said there were two papers that were similar in nature. He wouldn’t tell me anything else. Why would I be the one cheating? I don’t understand.”
I still didn’t want to move from my place against ma’am’s chest. I could hear her heartbeat and knew it was going to be okay. However, as soon as I thought about what I had done to her this evening my tears started a new. I couldn’t begin to express just how sorry I was for what I had done, “I’m sorry ma’am. I’m so sorry.”
“I know little bit. You are already forgiven.” Ma’am held me as I continued to cry and again, we found ourselves in silence other than me in tears of regret and anguish at my actions.