Spanking as a love language.

Hi, all. I’m back with a real post for you all. I have a story that is almost ready for you guys, so hopefully, I will get that posted tonight. If you don’t mind read and possibly tell me what you all think if it’s the same for you or even if you think I’m completely crazy. While I’m here I should mention I have started school and that keeps me pretty busy, but I am going to try to keep stories and other post coming for you all.


For many spankos like myself, spanking can have a profound impact on daily life, whether spanking is real life or virtual or a combination of the two. Today I want to talk a little bit about spanking being a love language in our lives. In real life, I am not a physically affectionate person. That is just not me, however, I have discovered that virtually I am. I like to hug, kiss and just cuddle with someone and yes be spanked for the closeness of it. Maybe, it is because I don’t do it in my real life as much, who knows. But recently that hasn’t happened and it can be emotionally hard to deal with when you need and want that human connection.

As some of you know, my personal life has been a bit rough lately, but I’m getting through it and learning a lot about myself in the process. Thankfully, I have several important people in my life that have been very supportive and willing to do anything they can for me. And for that, I am extremely grateful. So, to those of you that have been there of late, even when it was hard, thank you. You will never know what it means to me. Saying this, I needed some attention recently for some what I found to be surprising reasons. I asked one of these important people to help me in a way no one else can at the moment. In truth I told her several reasons I needed to go over her knee for a spanking, (yes I still blush a little whenever I think that word, but that is a different post entirely), however, to tell you the truth in hindsight I think most of it was because I needed a few moments to feel loved and cared for, but didn’t know how to ask for that any other way. I had told her I couldn’t focus and I needed to be centered among several other minor reasons. While this was true. In a way, I was feeling lonely, needy and overall emotional. It embarrasses me to say this, but being over someone’s knee and them “whacking” away at your backside doesn’t make you feel lonely anymore. And one most certainly feels loved as you are cuddled thereafter.

This, however, got me to thinking. Is spanking a love language in some relationships. I know for me it is in certain relationships I have and had in the past it is. Of course, it is not the only love language, but it is an important way for me to feel and possibly even give loving feelings to someone. The love a top and bottom shares, especially if they aren’t romantically involved, is one that is unlike anything else. It goes much deeper than a friend and is much different than with a romantic partner. When you enter into those relationships you are handing a little of your heart to the other person and hoping they don’t break it or give it away. The two people can be very protective of each other, wants the other to be fulfilled and happy, and really does get emotionally invested in the other person.

So, I guess I say all of this to say, I know spanking is a love language for me. And as embarrassing and uncomfortable that can be to admit it is something that I need so I don’t feel lonely and so that I know I am cared for. And to try to be clear, it is not always sexual. In fact, it is very rarely that way for me. So, yes there are times when I need a spanking for the aftercare or just the care of it in general. When you are willingly giving up control to another person and trusting them to take care of you in mind, body, and spirit, there are few things that can be more vulnerable than that. But there are also, few things that can be as comforting as someone holding your hand with one hand and spanking you with the other and telling you they care for you and that they are here for you.

Is anyone else this way? Has anyone else out there found unexpected reason and ways that spanking “works” or you?




5 thoughts on “Spanking as a love language.

  1. Yes…spanking is definitely one of my love languages. The amount of effort and energy it takes your partner to be observant of your behavior, and long to help you be the best person you can be by delivering a sound spanking is tremendous and speaks volumes to that person’s commitment to the relationship. It is a special bond 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for commenting as always nora. 😊

      I really hadnt even thought about that aspect… the time energy and effort it takes the spanker to “do the deed” I guess you could say is really a gift in a way to the spankee.

      Odd that I truely didnt think about it much from the top prespective… especially since I’m a “toppy switch”, but yes I can really see what you are saying!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. As a person whose love language is touch, I can see how spanking could become how a couple expresses their love for each other. Touching establishes connection, and if that touch involves spanking, it’s the way attention gets focused on the important parts of the relationship, which includes the after care that spankos all seem to especially cherish. With you clearly having had serious emotional turmoil recently, turning to a friend to provide that which a special someone used to provide makes sense, since one does need to be centered to deal with the changes life throws at us.


    • Thank you for commenting MyTopFantasy and welcome to this little corner of the spanko world. 😉 You are very correct, as it a spanko, it is one way we show feelings and connection even just between just friends, so it helps deal with difficult times in life. Also, very correct that aftercare is just as important if not even more so than the spanking in and of itself and there times when you want a spanking just for the aftercare.


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